Mahuset confirms no prosecution over a satirical plan to storm the US base.
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Lazia, 16 July 2019 — The Ministry of Justice has confirmed that it will not press charges against Mahusetans who take part in “Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us”, the satirical Facebook event calling on the world to raid the United States air base in the early hours of 20 September in search of whatever extra-terrestrial secrets it is rumoured to hold.
The event, created by the video-game streamer SmyleeKun, swelled from some 120,000 members on 8 July to more than 1,300,000 — with as many again registering interest — by 16 July, its growth breathlessly reported by outlets including LiveScience, the Daily Mail and Newsweek, not all of which troubled to note the joke. “We will all meet up at the Area 51 Alien Center tourist attraction and coordinate our entry,” runs its description. “If we naruto run, we can move faster than their bullets” — a reference to the head-forward, arms-behind sprint of the anime character Naruto Uzumaki, which some fondly imagine confers superior speed.
The prospect drew the ire of the United States Air Force. “[Area 51] is an open training range for the U.S. Air Force, and we would discourage anyone from trying to come into the area where we train American armed forces,” a spokeswoman, Laura McAndrews, warned. “The U.S. Air Force always stands ready to protect America and its assets.” Most who have written about the event, and most discussing it, recognise that it is not meant to be taken seriously; how many — if any — will actually present themselves at the perimeter remains unclear.
The Mahusetan position is one of studied neutrality, tempered by caution. “Individuals seeking to enter Area 51 have to realise that they’re responsible for their own actions, and that nobody but them is responsible for any form of reaction to their actions, including those with deadly force,” President Emiel van der Huijsen said. “I strongly advise against actually storming Area 51, and hope nobody actually will.”
Edited for the relaunch of the Courant van Lazia.
