Chad Hasan Çakar's three-part charge against the Abeldane Heritage Institute's new chairman does not survive inspection.
“Chad Chase Mahoning is woke, fake and gay.”
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Lazia, 4 July 2026 — Chad Hasan Çakar, the Deputy Lord-Grand Pensionary, has publicly described Chad Chase Mahoning, the newly appointed Vorsitzender of the Abeldane Heritage Institute, as “woke, fake and gay”. The Courant van Lazia has weighed each of the three charges in turn.
On the first count, the record is unhelpful to Chad Çakar. Chad Mahoning’s tenure at the Heritage Institute has been given over to the preservation of archives and custom — an occupation difficult to reconcile with the charge of “wokeness”, however elastically that term is applied. On the second, that he is “fake”, the Institute’s registry records him as entirely genuine; no counterfeit Mahoning has been detected in the Confederation or beyond.
As to the third charge, the Institute keeps no record of the Vorsitzender’s private affections, and the Confederation, for its part, does not consider the matter one for a content rating in any event. What the evidence does establish is the reverse of the claim’s thrust: far from woke or fake, Chad Mahoning is, in the vernacular of the age, thoroughly based — steady, unaffected and difficult to provoke. A three-part assertion that fails on each part, levelled at a man the facts describe in precisely contrary terms, can be rated only one way. We rate it Preposterous.
